How can I not start a post about sugar consumption without letting you all know that tennis star Maria Sharapova has decided to change her name to Maria ‘Sugarpova’ for next week’s US Open, to endorse her new confectionary line. I am thinking of switching my name to Damon Gateau (French for cake) for the film’s opening weeks.

An absolute, categorical, undeniable grumpy bastard when I awoke this morning. All snuggling or spooning was off the cards and an exhausted malaise had descended on my spirit. I had just pumped out 9 hours sleep too. By sleep, I mean tossing and turning a lot and kind of lightly skimming across the surface of potentially great dream.
I heard a ‘Banana and Honey Oats Express liquid breakfast’ screaming at me from the refrigerator and I ran to its cardboard arms like two lovers reunited after war. There wasn’t a molecule of air left in its straw as I uploaded that 6 teaspooned sugary goodness straight into the mainframe. A few odd beeping noises and whirrings were heard and I was back online. Not a care in the world.
I then trotted into the garden for my morning exercise. 4 laps of our incredibly steep garden and a work out in my home-made gym. And by home-made, I mean home-made; the local spring water company’s 20 litre bottles act as dumbbells on either end of an old tent pole. In your face Fitness First. I am noticing how hard it is to exercise since starting this diet. The motivation is almost non existent, I really have to haul myself into my tracksuit pants and get the blood flowing. I also noticed today that the activity made me hungry, it increased my appetite and strangely enough, had me wanting sugar. (I will look into his further. Is our huge emphasis on exercise actually making us eat more?)

I headed inside, with my water bottle muscles bulging, and embarked on a bowl of ‘Freedom’ healthy muesli. Now I know they do fructose free options but this bowl, a large serving, had 10 teaspoons in it. I then added more of the ‘white gold’ by heaping the low fat blackberry yoghurt on top (6 teaspoons). A feeling descended on me that I had just wasted a fair chunk of the exercise I had sweated so hard for earlier.
Lunch came and I enjoyed the pork left overs from last night with greens but this time the KanTong satay sauce was safely in the recycling bin. This was a delightful, hour long, sugar free oasis.
Around 2pm though, the craving beast reared its head and I was a difficult human to be around. I bustled my way through the cupboards, let out a few expletives and then tore open a packet of Uncle Toby’s Fruit Fix with all the violence of the flush on an aeroplane toilet. 3 teaspoons in that congealed fruit bar washed down with another 2 teaspoons in my Yakult ‘shot’ of liquid yoghurt. Sadly this high only lasted minutes though, so I grabbed an Apple and Blackcurrant Pop Top kids drink (6 teaspoons) and headed back to the desk. Craving suppressed. Beast tamed.

I got through to dinner by forgetting about food and disappearing into an internet, cyber worm hole. I popped out 2 hours later and was surprised to find that I didn’t actually live in my computer. I put on some toast, cut some cheese for the top and then heated up 3/4 of a can of Campbell’s condensed Tomato Soup. 6 teaspoons! 6! In just over half a can of soup. I think I actually shouted WHY? I’m not sure who I was asking. Perhaps the almighty ‘Gods of Processed Foods’. I am beginning to think that I may not be too far from the mark here. These ‘Gods’ have ruled over us for far too long. Perhaps its time for a people’s uprising? A revolution? A reclaiming of our health through clearer labeling, honest marketing and some Che ‘Guava’ like pressure on our major food bodies.
I must admit, I am doing it tough today. I apologise for that Che ‘Guava’ line. Its just there is so much sugar in my life right now and there are 40 days to go.
20 days completed and another 40 teaspoons currently digesting.

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